Yes, I’ve been absent for a while. I never expected this program to be easy, and I certainly wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of trying to plan a wedding while struggling through my first semester of nursing school. In fact, I’m still wrestling with bitterness and frustration regarding this overwhelming mix of events.
The past few weeks I have been growing more comfortable in the hospital setting, cleaning up messes and providing what little comfort I can. I have watched my academic work start to suffer as my attention has been pulled from studying to wedding planning. I managed to scrape through my Awful Evil Foundations class with an A-.
This week, Med-Surg started. I’m not sure what to expect regarding this class. The professor seems lovely: articulate, patient, clear about her expectations. The content is simply very difficult. We have our first exam next Tuesday. I desperately want to do well.
I also desperately want my wedding to be over with. Partly because I just want to be married and partly because I am less and less confident about whether or not I will actually enjoy my wedding. As reality sets in and people R.S.V.P. and I realize that some very dear friends and family will not be attending, my spirits start to sink. This isn’t what I wanted.
Today, I have a paper outline to write and a study guide to create for my first Med-Surg exam. Tomorrow, I leave in the evening for a whirlwind trip to Houston to visit Z’s parents. Life…is crazy.
Hey, call me sometime to talk wedding stuff. Give me a task to do for you and lighten the load! Also, you can just call and vent?